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Dunedain Rhapsody
By dlloyd
Published: May 31, 2005
Updated: May 31, 2005
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by dlloyd

Dunedain Rhapsody (To the tune of a certain well known Queen song)

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a snowstorm,
Moria sounds pretty good to me.
Under the ground,
We hear drumming sounds and flee...
It's a big balrog, it scares the pants off me!
It's got a flaming sword, flaming whip,
Gandalf's dead, what a rip!
Whether it's got wings or not
Doesn't really matter to me
To me...

Gimli, just lost a man,
Boromir from arrows choked,
Blew his horn before he croaked.
Gimli, where've the hobbits gone?
Those little guys have all just run away.
Gimli, oooo,
We've split the Fellowship!
Now all that's left is seraching for the hobbits,
In Rohan, in Rohan,
As if they really matter.

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Saruman! Saruman! Wait I think it's just Gandalf!
Let's go to Edoras, Wormtongue will deplore us, see?
Theoden-o, Eomer-o,
Eowyn-o's figure, oh - magnifico!
I'm just a ranger, nobody loves me,
Except a hot elf babe from a rich elf family!
Spare me my life and I'll be Gondor's king!
Uruks come, we should go, to Helm's Deep don't you know.

<Orkish Boy's Choir> WE'RE URUKS! No, we will not let you go!
<High-pitched whiny Legolas voice> Let him go!
WE'RE URUKS! We will not let him go!
Let him go!
WE'RE URUKS! Will not let him go!
Will not let him go!
Let him go!
Will not let him go!
Let him go!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
What's that I see-a?
What's that I see-a?
What's that I see-a on the hill?
It's Gandalf with an army and a bunch of trees... mean trees...

These dead guys swore an oath but it turns out they lied.
Maybe they should have thought it through before they died!
Oh, dead guys, Anduril rules you dead guys!
I'm gonna lead you! I'm gonna lead you out of here!

Those Corsairs really splatter,
The dead guys can go home,
They don't go to Gondor with me,
Not like in that damned movie...

Now it's on to Gondor...


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